CHYNNA IN YOUR HANDS

SO IT WAS BACK ON THE MOTORWAY TO KL AGAIN YESTERDAY, this time to celebrate my dear koko's (big bro) birthday. Although we nearly didn't make it, because we had a couple of near misses, once so close I really thought we'd had it. To the BLITHERING IDIOT who pulled out from behind a bus without even thinking to LOOK OVER HIS SHOULDER to check if there was anyone coming - BOO SUCKS to you, for nearly killing us (yourself and your family included) and at the very least causing almost a heart attack for MOI. I really thought we'd had it. Do you REALLY think that when YOU are driving, there's NO OTHER TRAFFIC ON THE ROAD? As they say here, "HEY, YOU TINK THIS YOUR GRANDFATHER ROAD AH?" If so then you're WRONG because there are a MILLION other cars which use the motorway, so please have DUE CARE and CONSIDERATION for other drivers please.

Anyway I digress, but make no apologies for venting my spleen. There really are some BLOODY IDIOTS out there, if you'll pardon my language. Like I always say, if you drive stupidly and kill yourself then please go ahead. But please don't endanger myself or my loved ones.

We arrived at about 5.30pm which left us just enough time to get ready (one must, after all, titivate) for the family dinner which had been arranged at CHYNNA Restaurant in KL Hilton, Sentral.

It is a posh place, no question about that, and we had a private room booked which was even posher ... you would have thought. Unfortunately there were a couple of problems we hadn't foreseen - my aged father couldn't make it up and down the stairs in his wheelchair (which btw they had kindly loaned us) so had to be CARRIED lock, stock and barrel, even when he went to the loo - which was the other problem. Most private rooms in KL have their own en suite toilet. This one didn't. He was really quite upset to have to cause such a spectacle because all the men in our party of 12 had to accompany him to the toilet and back! What a sight it was to behold!

The food, traditional Cantonese meets modern Shanghainese, was quite good, tasty especially the Sharks Fin Soup (before you write in to complain yes you're quite right, it's very un-PC, but it wasn't MY party was it) which was very good but it was served in an open mini "wok" so to keep it warm it sat over a little burner which was lit as soon as they placed it in front of you. Which was all very well except as the amount of soup diminished it got hotter and hotter and I actually burnt my tongue. Why didn't you blow it out I hear you ask. Of course it's not something one thinks about until it's happened, stupidly you might add, and served me right.

The wagyu beef was delicious, but service wasn't exceptional. I asked for warm water and they forgot it so had to be reminded; no one topped up my wine so I had to resort to BIG HINTS for it to be replenished ... one just can't get the staff these days ... (joke, joke).

Everything was served individually as is the trend nowadays, although the table was so big all the food had to be served that way as there was no way we were going to be able to reach for it, lazy susan or not! I didn't get a chance to see it but one of their gimmicks is the long-spouted tea pot wielded by an expert who is apparently a bit of a show-off.

They even had a young man all dressed up in traditional Chinese garb to say goodbye as we left.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO.

WHAT A GATHERING of foodies! The patrons of the Shangri-La Rasa Sayang and Spa's Spice Market Cafe, already quite busy despite it being a Tuesday night, had an additional group last night: five food writers from the US who had been flown to Malaysia by MATRADE to sample our delicious offerings. They had just arrived by bus from KL but along the way had stopped at various interesting "eating points".

MATRADE's "Malaysia Kitchen for the World" is, according to their gumph, a global initiative of the MsiN Govt that "aims to educate and inform consumers about Malaysian cuisine and restaurants throughout the world". This group were from New York, and they are seeking to "boost interest (in Msian cuisine) among American food lovers". The group was led by Suresh Kumar who is Director of MATRADE Northern Regional Office.

Unfortunately I didn't get all their biz cards (and in fact, I'd run out myself too, for shame, for shame), but they were all, typically American, very friendly and forthcoming. Nancy Davidson is a freelance restaurant and food writer, Diane Stopford, and there's Adeena Sussman who's in the pix having a go at the roti jala. Hope to meet them again when I'm next in US.

The SMC really did us proud. First of all there was a simple demo of how to make roti jala at which they tried their hand, and then the chef demonstrated how to cook chicken curry, which we sampled after. It must be sooo different for them, all the different herbs and spices that we use here; having said that, it would be just as strange for many of us to go over to US and try some of the food that they eat - grits being a case in point.

Then they were let loose to try the various offerings and as one of the best buffets in Penang (and I really mean this) there was a LOT to sample! The fresh seafood is always a hit, and so was the cooking "theatre".

Noodle Station offered quite a passable Mee Rebus, and they even knocked up some Char Kuey Teow for us although the Beef Rendang wasn't up to standard - a bit too sweet I felt, as was the Gula Melaka with Sago that they served a table - much too much syrup and far too little santan. However everyone was suitably impressed.

It was a pleasure to meet fellow writers from another part of the world, all of whom have one thing in common: food, and promoting it to all and sundry. Welcome to Penang guys, and hope you are enjoying your short stay here. (The lucky things are being put up at the Rasa, but of course.)

Sarkies Corner

BEING A FOOD WRITER REALLY IS AN AMAZING JOB - in fact, one would hardly describe it as a job - witness the number of food bloggers there are who do it for nothing more than to be able to express their feelings about certain places online - it's more a passion and an interest.

However sometimes it can be quite tiring, eating out all the time (can't remember the last time I went marketing, let alone touched my wok!) and of course one's got to be aware of one's cholesterol level; sometimes it's a bit depressing, when you see the standard of food being served at certain places. And that's just the professional side of things. Sometimes though it's nice when one is invited just for the pleasure of one's company ... and a case in point was last night, when friends (yes, I do have some) invited us to the E&O for one of their splendiferous free-flow buffets. Of course I still had to take some photos for my blog!

As usual, the place was packed, full of locals and expats all tucking into the food and wine, although personally I find the huge dining room too echoey which increases the noise level significantly, and because it's all enclosed air conditioning the smells tend to linger so one always ends up having to have a shower at the end of the evening. But if you sit outside it's even worse - especially now, as it's absolutely boiling as there aren't enough fans.

I'm always on at them to open up all the windows and doors and have the fans going at full blast which will make it so much more comfortable and less noisy, but then who am I that they should listen to!

Didn't catch sight of old friend Executive Chef Bob but Chef Ah Fat was there, friendly and smiling as always, although I did notice he was more quiet than usual. "Tired," he said. Hope you feel better soon mate.

I will say this for them - they do lay on a truly magnificent spread. The starters, salads, main courses and desserts - just overwhelm, there's so much to choose from. Of course their sashimi and prawns are always popular, as you can see from the empty platter, and the lamb was but a

carcass before the evening was out.

Having said that the wine is really not up to much: I started with the white and rapidly changed my mind after a sip, deciding to go for a red instead. That was just as disappointing, so mein host kindly opened the bottle of white that I'd brought for them - which wasn't the point at all as it was meant to be their gift to thank them for inviting us. However, it did make the rest of the evening slightly more pleasant for everyone probably as I wasn't cringing with every mouthful I took.

What do you expect for freeflow, as you may well ask. To be frank, I'd sooner a glass or two of a more palatable vino than as much as you want plonk like that.

Their desserts as always are quite a treat, although the two Chocolate Bombs above reminded me of something ... hmmm ...

POP! The sound of the champagne cork being released was music to our ears. We were at one of Penang's newest, "That Little Wine Bar" in Chow Thye Road, invited to try out the place by genteel English lady Louise and her German chef husband Tommes. What better way to start a review than with a glass of one of their champagne cocktails - mine was delish, slightly sweetened with Elderflower Syrup, with just a hint of its gorgeous bouquet. The other was a Tommes Sparkle.

The cosy place is proving popular with locals and expats: it's somewhere to pop into after work, as it's conveniently situated between Burmah Road and the busy Northam offices, for a drink ... or two ... whilst the traffic outside dies down. Sit at the bar on one of their oversized high stools tucking into one or two of the tapas dishes that they have become known for, drinking one of the large selection of wines that they import direct from boutique vineyards in Europe. A big blackboard covers one wall, announcing the day's specials, or the wine of the week, with some witty remarks.

Alternatively, sit at the comfortable tables which dot the rest of the small dining area and tuck into some unique dishes.

"We do traditional, clean, European food," said Chef Tommes. "Everything is made fresh from scratch, even our stocks and mayonnaise." Even his breads are baked on the premises. As he spent the last five years prior working in Shanghai, including Stefan Stiller's 1-Michelin starred restaurant, I'd say he knows what he's talking about.

We started with Mushroom Soup which is very different from the usual creamy type; it's made with five different types of the popular fungus, in a clear hot broth, after which we had gorgeous red Beef Carpaccio, sliced so thinly you could see the plate through it. "Only the very best quality tenderloin can be eaten raw," Louise confirmed. Dribbled with extra virgin olive oil and rocket, topped with a couple of slivers of parmesan, it was delicious.

The Mushroom Quiche is apparently the one that everyone comes back for, although for me it was the Warm Apple Pie in Filo Pastry - it was really excellent, light as air. Mmmm ... I'd definitely go back for that!

As it was rather busy that night Tommes was stuck in the kitchen for much of the time, but he managed to get out for a few minutes at the end. "I've learnt a lot since we opened here," he told me. "People told me that Penangites are cheap and you can never sell good food here. We may charge more," he said, "but you get the atmosphere. The ingredients are the best I can get."

Unfortunately we had to rush off as I had to see someone to finish off my Sunday Metro column, so had just 5 mins to spend with him, but he's certainly an interesting person, whom I'd like to talk to longer, so Louise if you're reading this I look forward to getting together again soon!

IT'S PUBLIC ... BUT I WISH IT WASN'T!

NOW REGULAR READERS OF MY BLOG WILL KNOW THAT I am more often than not positive about the places I write about, as I think it's a bit unfair to impose my own relatively exacting standards on others who may be more easy going than me. HOWEVER there are times when even this is too low, and yesterday's visit to the Kedai Kopi Public in Gurney Drive was a good example.

We were in town waiting to see someone so decided to pop in as we passed by at about 6pm. In my eternal quest for a good Hokkien Mee, I decided to try one. After all, I hadn't had much to eat that day, and dinner wasn't till at least 9pm.

That's what I was served (top pix) ... well I have to say it was probably one of the worst, if not the worst, Hokkien Mees I've ever had in my life, apart from the ones served abroad which of course couldn't be helped.

First of all, it cost RM5 for a bowl - and all I could see were a few extra TINY prawns, which weren't even prepared the way it should be for Hokkien Mee ie fried with a bit of chilli paste until dry-ish. When I went, "RM5?!!" her reply was, "Yes, it says so on the front of my stall."

Secondly, it was LUKEWARM. Now who in their right minds would serve a bowl of noodle soup less than piping hot? Without wishing to digress into the topic of food hygiene etc, it is without a doubt safer to eat street food which is so hot that most, if not all, the bacteria has been killed. This was positively unsafe.

Having paid RM5 for it, one of course could not justify leaving it so I did try a bit - to find it not just lukewarm but bland and tasteless. The miserly prawns were a disgrace. In fact, after a couple of mouthfuls I gave up. What a waste of money the whole experience was. The pix above is what I left behind: canny Penangites will understand how bad it must have been for me to leave all that uneaten!

So I took a drink of my Iced Lime. Now it's not difficult, I don't think, to make a simple Iced Lime - one just takes a couple of limes, add some syrup, crushed ice and a bit of water and voila! A glass of iced lime. You would think. You know how sometimes in posh restaurants when you ask for plain water they try and dress it up with a couple of slices of lemon thrown into the jug? Well, that's what this tasted like. And they charged me RM1.60 or something for it.

Their saving grace was the Char Kuey Teow Mac had was acceptable, and it cost just RM3.00.

However, if there is one place I would NOT recommend anyone go to for Hokkien Mee or Iced Lime, it is the Pubic Kopi Tiam in Gurney Drive, especially not when Penang has a thousand other better places to go to. I'm the first one to put my hand up and say hawkers really work hard for their living, and I am all for supporting them. However, some stalls shouldn't be allowed to continue as they really just give Penang such a bad name. Some visitors to Gurney Drive may not know any better, so I think it's a case of "cham pak kai" - chopping the white chicken - but it shouldn't be.

EDDIE'S BACK

LAST YEAR WHEN FORMER FORMULA 1 RACER EDDIE JORDAN VISITED Penang, I was one of the media members invited to attend a dinner held at the Rasa Sayang's Feringgi Grill to welcome him.

Last night he was back again, but this time as the draw for a charity dinner held at Traders Hotel's enormous ballroom; performing with his band The Robbers doing some well-known covers for about thirty minutes. They were good but the acoustics were not brilliant so it was a bit of an ear-bash.

The dinner was to raise funds for Penang's Lighthouse Programme, a community service for the poor. A short film was played to tell everyone present about the charity, which provides valuable services for the poor and elderly. It was very moving, and to me, it was so incredibly sad that there are so many people out there who, having gone through life, find themselves suddenly without money, food or shelter.

Shangri-La's three properties in town (Traders, Rasa Sayang and Golden Sands) take turns to sponsor daily dinners every month for a year as part of their CSR programmes (Corporate Social Responsibility). Apparently every day at least 120 people come in to shower before their dinner, which is served by volunteers and schools. The hotels also donate used clothes, linen and towels. It's a very noble gesture, and I do hope that they continue to do so.

The dinner was launched by the Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng who gave a short speech, commending the hotels for their great efforts. I stopped by his table to have a quick chat, and asked him if he would write the foreword for the next edition of my restaurant guide and he said, "Consider it done!" which was nice of him.

There were various performances from local artistes, some dressed in very elaborate outfits.

I found myself thinking about my father, who at 87 is looked after by a full-time maid, his every need seen to. My brother, who is a businessman, still makes sure he has dinner with Dad every week, despite his hectic business commitments. I try and go to KL to see him regularly, and he comes up here too (this weekend in fact, for our annual Cheng Beng trip to Taiping). He's a very lucky man, and I hope that one day my own children will look after me like that! (If I live that long that is).

Well done to Shangri-La for taking their Corporate Social Responsibilities so seriously, and for choosing such a worthwhile charity. They make such a difference to those people.

BTW hope you survive the morning - it's April Fool's Day of course!