I'D RATHER PLAY GOLF ...

than go to Ingolf's in Hillside again, to be honest. And anyone who knows me knows I'd rather be hung by my thumbs and tickled than play that "sport", as I'm not one of those, like my husband (mad dogs and Englishmen and all that) who can spend a few days a week traipsing up and down this HUGE green chasing after this little white ball and trying to ensure it gets into a tiny hole from a few hundred yards away. And of course the sun beating down turning me dark in 5 mins doesn't help.

So bro-in-law and his mrs kindly offered to take all of us out, including Mom et al, and as bro-in-law had been there before (last time he came here - 5 years ago), he thought that would be a nice place to go.

Me, I'm personally not that fond of that kind of Northern European food, but went along. It was, after all, their treat. I had rung up to book during the day, and had been asked whether I wanted "smoking or non-smoking" to which the obvious answer was, "Non." "Then that means a table on the top floor," she replied.

Little did I know that the top floor ONLY serves a very expensive German beer - no local beers at all. If you wanted that, it had to be on the GROUND and "mezzanine" floors. ONLY after we had sat down and were enquiring about drinks were we told that. When I complained about this (that's called a SITTING DUCK in case you wondered why) I was told, "The entire floor was sponsored by the beer company".

"So why wasn't this mentioned when I rang up to book?"

"Because you said no smoking." "

"Why didn't you also mention that we could only order this expensive beer if we were on this floor then?"

"Look," the less-than-courteous reply came, "if you want to move down it's no problem."

In other words, you're being difficult, but we are so nice here we are prepared to accommodate your request to move downstairs where you CAN get local beer, you CHEAPSKATE. No apology, and spoken as though WE were the pain in the asses who SHOULD HAVE READ HER MIND and KNOWN that the top floor only served imported beer. So it's me who should apologise I guess - so sorry I am not a clairvoyant. I am only a poor, stupid food writer who can't afford to pay for expensive imported beer. So so sorry. Tabek Tuan. Entshuldigen Sie.

So the six of us trooped back downstairs, where we got a fairly reasonable table right at the front of the place.

I ordered a "Pork Belly" which was beautifully presented but hard and dry, and tasted more like cardboard with a bit of lard. Definitely not something I'd order again for sure.

To give them their due everything does come with a good helping of fresh salad, and the others had Chicken Schnitzel (the waiter couldn't even pronounce it) and a Beef Roll which were all OK but looked rather similar as everything was covered with a greyish sauce which could have come out of a box.

They probably nuked my dish deliberately cos I was the difficult ___ who had complained and didn't want to pay RM18++ for a small glass of imported beer. Their prices are quite reasonable (except for imported beer ... !! - had to get that in), and their Set Lunches are good value for money. Service overall was OK except for that waitress's poor attitude.

However, I felt that the special occasion was soured by what had been an unreasonable situation to place us in. A simple apology would have sufficed.